Every once in a while I get curious about files on my laptop. I’m never smart enough to name my files in a way that’ll allow me to identify the contents straight off if months go by. So when I saw a file labeled Letter to Me I thought, “What the hell is this?” I opened the file and immediately went, “Ahh, now I remember.”
The following letter was written as part of an exercise at a teaching workshop at Asnuntuck Community College right before I taught my first college course. I do my best writing when it’s from the heart because it’s fueled by my passion. I scoff when I hear people advise writing every day in a journal; I say, “pshaw.” If you read past entries of this blog you can easily spot when I’m writing from the heart or if I’m just pulling something out of my ass. When I write from the heart, my words will make you tear or laugh or think. When I write from the ass, your reaction will be a shrug of the shoulders. I’m a quality, not a quantity writer. When I’m feelin’ real froggy I compare myself to Harper Lee; she wrote quality, one masterpiece that contributed to the annals of American Literature.
I hope the below letter will make you feel…something! And I challenge you to write a heart-felt letter to yourself, especially if you’re about to embark on the unknown and you’re filled with fears and doubts. And six months down the road, when you need a pick-me-up, break out the laptop and look for this letter. Do what I say, ya hear me?
Photo from www.wrensoft.com
Dear Lisa,
How exciting is it for you to be teaching your first class? You thought about this for a while, you contemplated this teaching thing since you started undergrad, but you never really believed it could happen. Perhaps it was destiny that you got that job at Eastern Connecticut State University. Regardless of your personal feelings on why you were hired to work for Dr. P*****, the end result is that you were granted the rare pleasure to work for a man who was passionate about student learning and in a roundabout way he passed that passion onto you because he inherently knew you would know what to do with it.
Perhaps you are fulfilling what your father was never able to do because life was hard for him and he had everything working against him: a stroke, alcoholism, mental illness, an early and tragic death. But you aren’t teaching to fulfill what he wasn’t able to do, you are teaching because it’s a part of who you are. Your personality, your encyclopedic knowledge of useful and useless facts from years of watching biographies on A&E Television, your need to help people even if at times you don’t believe in them, those things are what make you Lisa and to deny them is futile. To succumb to the very essence of Lisa is and will be a marvelous thing, not only because it will make you happy but also because you will be able to spread your wisdom, knowledge and passion to those who need to believe in themselves. No doubt you will be nervous. Like the day you first got on the mic at Eastern’s WECS FM for your Friday radio show and your voice trembled with every word you spoke. But with each radio show you got more confident, more sure of yourself and little did you know you slowly gained a following. Remember the little note you got in a used book you bought from a dealer in Columbia? When at times you thought no one was listening, when you thought that no one really “got you,” you received that wonderful note that said he listened to your program every Friday as he wrapped books. He recognized your name when you ordered that book from him, recognized the fact that it must be the same Lisa Overton who gabbed on the airways about living in East Hartford on WECS FM and he took the time to write that little thank you. How cool was that, Lisa? Do you remember the smile that spread across your face after the surprise wore off? Do you remember the little laugh that followed and the warm, gooey feeling that came from someone showing their appreciation for what you do?
Eventually the same thing will happen for you in teaching. Appreciation will not come right away, don’t forget that. But you will gain a following, I’m sure of it. Why? Because you will love it just as much as you loved doing that radio show. Your passion for all things will flow as you stand in front of a group of people looking to you for knowledge, insight and guidance. Your doubts about whether you will be successful are justified, as nothing is ever certain in life. But you will grow, you will adapt, you will find “your way,” one that will work best for you and you will be awesome. Remember, you are a Scorpio, a water sign, and your life thus far has been a demonstration of the characteristics of that sign: fluid, flexible, ever-flowing with the ability to accept change and to not let that change deter you from your ultimate destination.
So remember, dear Lisa, to never lose that passion even during the most difficult of classes and the most challenging of students. Remember to find interesting and creative ways to bring the word of gospel to your students. Remember to be patient, as not all think as quick as you do. Remember that these people are relying on you to guide them and to care about how well they must do not only in your class but in life. Remember your humbled beginnings and the road you took to get to this point. Remember the teachers that impacted you and the encouragement they gave that somehow stuck long enough for you to find the courage to be a writer.
If you can’t remember all of that, remember this: be who you are and you’ll do fine.
